Day 3 of Tony Robbins COVID-19 Comeback Challenge

Today’s Challenge was all about relationships. I will say, I had a very hard time following and keeping notes today so these might not make much sense. Go to to join the challenge and watch the videos yourself! But if you’re here, my guess is you already watched them?? I also did a YouTube video recap if you want to check that out I will embed it at the bottom of this post!

They started things off the same way and KK came out to announce prizes and get us pumped and ready for Brian. Brian came out to do our warmup exercises. Then KK came back out and here’s a few takeaways I got from her.

-The quality of your life is the quality of your relationships.

-Our greatest evolutionary advantage is love.

Then Tony came out with his incredible energy. Here’s my takeaways from him. He starts off talking about relationship mastering.

-Primary pains – fear that we are not enough – babies get love then that changes – as they grow up parents oxytocin levels fade.

-The greatest gift you can bring to a relationship is your state  

Then they show a video clip from a past event which is about 30 min

-Maureen from Connecticut – Tony asks her what she wants from relationship. she has been married 27 years and is unhappy. She is focused on her husband and what he is doing wrong. Tony asks her to talk about herself and not him.

“You can’t influence somebody when you’re judging them”

“Intimate relationships don’t end from a lack of love they end from depolarization”

-Head or heart? Must be heart for intimate relationship

-Expectations not being met so respect is not there

Relationship Stressors
1.Loss of attraction – depolarization – The only difference between an intimate relationship and friendship is intimacy
2.Irritation, Frustration, Emotional Stacking and Stonewalling
The 4 R’s – Resistance, Resentment, Rejection, Repression

3 keys to getting in a relationship – Proximity, Proximity, Proximity

-You have to own your part

-The state of the union is based on your state

-Appreciation is when suffering stops

-Suffering comes from feelings of: Loss, Less, Never

-We are in this relationship through the filter of everyone we’ve ever known

-Survival brain will never make your relationship work (Fight or Flight or Freeze)

-The mind will Generalize, Distort, Delete

-Then Tony asks her to step into his shoes. He retires and has his own expectations and she starts a business.

-He then has her husband mark come up to the mic. He asks his side of things. he says he doesn’t want any time apart. He wants closeness, love, seeing her smile. Tony asks if he understands why she is upset and he does but he feels alone

– Tony mentions killing the monster when it is a baby before it becomes Godzilla, which he brought up yesterday too

-You need two qualities to make a relationship work. Courage and faith.
-It takes faith to drive on a road knowing the yellow line is the only thing keeping the cars on the other side.
-If you try to drive into the future using the rearview mirror you’re going to crash.

-Tony’s wife’s Sage comes out and talks about stacking. Like adding post-it notes on top of each other and everything keeps building.

-Tony tells the couple there is no middle ground they both need to stop telling their story and start over.

-Sage says Willingness + Receptivity: to see our part, to take responsibility, to be honest

-Tony says do what your mind tells you NOT to do. Do what your HEART wants you to do. Get out of your head and into your heart.

-Take responsibility for your part

-Then he has them recite this thing back and forth to each other called
-“I’m sorry. I love you. Please forgive me. Thank you.”

-Tony makes her look in his eyes and feel his pain. They are now crying together and hugging and repeating this phrase over and over.

“When you come from your heart, not your head, anything can change and anything is possible in your relationship… and in your life”


They cut back to the studio and Tony is joined by his wife Sage

-They talk about the book “Men are from Mars and women are from Venus.” Here is an affiliate link for the book if you want to check it out.

“As long as you think they are the problem, that is the problem”


-We’ve been conditioned to have no latency due to computers, fast food and everything else in our instant world. We cannot expect the same from our relationships.

-He talks about having a metaphorical “relationship bank account” in which you need to have 5 deposits (positive messages) for every 1 withdrawal. (A positive message is saying I love you or other kind words)

-Never go to bed upset or angry

-It’s not about a perfect relationship. It’s about mutual understanding.

1.Write down everything you want in a relationship
2.Write down everything you do not want in a relationship
3.Write down who you have to become for that to happen

-If you’re single and looking for “the one” and focused on it, you will miss out on all the other beautiful things in life

3 things that will mess up a relationship
Feminine # U’s – Unseen, not Understood, Unsafe
Masculine 3 C’s – Criticized, Closed, Controlled

Back to KK for the daily challenge!
Who do you need to become for your partner (or future partner) to create the relationship of your dreams? Post to Facebook and use hashtag #Challenge3

That’s it for day 3!!! Thanks for reading! Subscribe below to join the email list for updates!